Will you blow on my dice?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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