I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
