You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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