she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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