i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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