Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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