dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
