Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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