For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
