The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
