My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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