I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
