they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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