Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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