GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
