We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize