Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
