is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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