He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
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God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
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The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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