Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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