The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You're a waste of cheezeits
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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