that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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