Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
