bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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