we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
