I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
