i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
