Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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