I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The Olympian is in my bed
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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