What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
