Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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