Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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