We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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