He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
