My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You made out with two different species that night
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
