Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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