Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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