I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
