take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
