Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
