I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize