note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I have post one night stand depression
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