So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize