okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
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I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
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WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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