So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
