Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
