Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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