Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize