Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
