she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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