The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
