is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
