bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
