It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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