my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize