very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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