She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
