i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
