Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
