I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
