i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
