god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
