dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
