he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
