I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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