is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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